Red Within Me

 




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There is something about painting myself red that is so stimulating for me. 
The Painted Ladies painted ourselves red for the first time back in August.  We moved in the tall green grasses at one of the most Northern parts of the Santa Fe River.  I was so buzzed after that I needed to go back out and play some more.  I ended up back at the river again but further down stream.  I ran around like a maniac while I took pictures of myself.
It was that first day with the painted ladies, I was rolled up in a ball under a tree and I just had a strong sense of the red ball that lives inside of me; my very creative source that is fiery and yet round.  There have been times working with this color that I have felt almost over stimulated, it is a very humbling sensation to be tapped into.  And I am not always sure I am so good at productively channeling it, there are times it has ended up being channeled into neurotically facebooking.
Fear runs along side my red.  I feel like when I touch red I am touching something within me that has been forbidden, it seems a bit like a Pandora’s box, and then you put in the mix red of others and well a whole lot of potential lives there.  I have this assumption that red demands a kind of strength, like being able to ride a wild horse and I’m not sure I have the skills yet to fully take that on.  And yet dancing around the edges of a storm can actually be the most dangerous place to be.
Red demands that I show up with all of my capacity.  Do other colors do that, hmm, we will see.
Looking at these photos again, i think that day i was the wild horse with out a rider.